Perceptions...are they what you think they are?

Perceptions are a funny thing. You can look at someone for the first time and think you have them all figured out and then whammo, they do something so out of the ordinary or contrary to their demeanour that it throws you for a loop. Everywhere I look I see people that I know for some reason or another would probably blow my mind if I really knew what they were thinking. I can imagine that is how a lot of people see myself when reading my blog. How can this big, hairy, burly biker guy have a soft side and be so willing to share to the world his emotions.

Wouldn't it be nice to be able to have that from everyone. It seems that the world is so caught up in putting on a show or being someone they aren't and in the end you have to ask why? Who is it they are trying to impress or show to about themselves what they really aren't. I vowed a long time ago to be real. A friend of mine from years back once said to me...Rob " make it real, or let's forget about it". That comment or song lyric by Santana is one that will be emblazoned in my mind. What truly is the point of pretending to be someone, something that we aren't. If you can't be true to yourself then how can we expect others to be true to you as well. If all they see is someone that is fake or putting on airs, then why do we question them when they don't give us the respect or the truth that we seek. You can't have it both ways. I did that for so long that I forgot who I was. How sad is that?

I will never do that again. I vow right here and now that Leanne will always and I mean always know exactly what it is that makes me tick. She will never have to guess at what I do, or what I am wanting because I will tell her what I am thinking. Communication is the only way that it will work for us. I know she, as well as I lived in the shadows of ourselves far to long. When the communication breaks down between two people you start to lose touch with each other. You start to take each other for granted, you start to assume that the other person is going to be ok with what you are doing, but in the end, you just don't know for sure. Maybe what you do totally upsets the other person but the lack of communication is so ingrained into the relationship that you are blind to it. It happened to me. I was blinded by my inability to see that what I was doing was making Bonnie unhappy but I kept on doing it. I wasn't aware or more to the point I wasn't willing to accept it that it was my doing that was causing us to be unhappy. I now know that it was me not owning my role in the relationship and that all I had to do was to face up to the things I didn't like and voice them. I didn't do this because I didn't want to upset the apple cart, so to speak. In reality it only caused me to feel resentful and disheartened in our relationship.

What I am getting at is this...be true to yourself. Do not take for granted anything in this world. As long as you are true to yourself, then others will see it, embrace it and only then can they accept you for who you really are and not someone you are pretending to be. Don't be afraid to voice yourself.

Most people are afraid of confrontation because it is uncomfortable. No one wants to put themselves into a situation where we have to face the tough things in our daily routines. Stand up and be heard. Let your spouse, your parents, your children...whoever it is, know what it is that you are uncomfortable with. Tell them you love them, tell them they pissed you off, tell them how much you enjoy being with them....most importantly tell them what is on your mind. You never know when they won't be there and as long as they know what you are thinking then there are no hidden perceptions.