I am just me...

I have become me again. It took a very long time for it to happen, but I did it. I have just now developed my personality again to be me. Not someone else. Not someone that I thought I was supposed to be. Not someone that I thought someone else wanted me to be. I am just me. For so many years I was pretending, I was settling, I was not being true to myself or to my ex for that matter. I now know that this behaviour was so debilitating without even realizing it. I always felt like there was something that wasnt quite right but yet I continued on because of all the history and such that I didnt want to lose. Is history enough to keep two people together? Is it enough to look past the things that slowly build up resentment and then the inevitable gap that comes from years of not being ourselves.

So now, after 20 years I have become myself. I made an oath to myself now that I was single again, that I would never forsake my own self to save conflict. Compromise is good, if it has the right intentions.

Then along comes Leanne, who totally has turned my world upside down. I am feeling things that I have never felt before and am realizing that she is allowing me, to be me. We have talked in length about each other, our faults, our worries, our concerns about relationships and in the end we both realized that we had given up way to much of ourselves just so that everyone else was happy.

We are becoming so in tune with each other that we are now finishing sentences for each other....lol

It is so refreshing to be able to just be me. I can say what I want without fear, I can be who I am, and realize that it is ok. Be yourself, and don't be someone that you aren't. It takes to long to get back yourself and in the end, the only one you are hurting is yourself. Maybe that is better than hurting others, but if you are true to yourself, then others can make their own decisions on wether they want to be around you or not.